Special Needs Children Don’t Label & Discriminate so Why Should We? Maybe the Answer After All is …“One Model Fits All!”

If you have ever been involved in Challenge Sports or Special Olympics, you would come to know that the children who have Special Needs don't label themselves and discriminate against others, they bond.

They don't care if you are blind, have Cerebral Palsy, Down syndrome, Autism, Epilepsy, etc... They bond through Sports and interaction.

They support one another and truly care about one another. They tell each other jokes and laugh. They comfort one another when one gets hurt. The older Special Needs children look out for the young and the young look up to the old. It is a truly amazing and lovely relationship.

I too at one time in my life thought the same as far as "One Model Does Not Fit All." But, after being involved in Challenged Sports over the years, I have come to realize that it is not the label or diagnosis that should separate these children into adulthood, it is compatibility and common interests. To me they seem to get along great!

If you started to put these kids into groups based on Diagnosis, it would be tragic and the outcome would be depressing. It is the socialization from “All” that makes witnessing their interaction with one another a very beautiful reality.

It is not easy for these kids to bond but when they do, it brings tears to my eyes knowing that my son has been given the opportunity to form long-lasting friendships which he has not been able to do in life and through participating in regular education.

However, when Alex was moved from Regular Education to Special Education and year-after-year was involved in Challenge Sports coupled with being around the same Special Needs Classmates over the past three years, Alex for the first was able to form meaningful friendships.

Alex does not see diagnosis or disability as a reason to not be someone’s friend … he sees the person for who they are and leans towards those who he shares a common interest with and those who he gets along with as a means of creating meaningful friendships.

Creating a Permanent Living Community for our Special Need's Children should be no different than what we envision for ourselves; a loving, caring, safe environment with an opportunity to bond with friends whom we feel comfortable with and those whom we share common interests with … very simple. Maybe “One Model Fits All” after all!

Thank You for Being a Buddy to Alex!

Thank You Kristina & Jake for being Alex’s Buddy!

Alex and I wanted to thank you for being Alex’s Buddy this year in Mrs. Harris’ 4th Grade Classroom. Due to your tremendous help and support, Alex had a very successful year. It takes a Special Person to volunteer and to make a difference in a person’s life! Helping those in need on a daily basis five days a week for an entire school year is no easy task. Both of you are outstanding individuals and there is no doubt that you are headed towards great things.

I hope that this experience has changed your life in a very positive way. I have been a dedicated volunteer for over 36-years and can say without hesitation that it has been the most fulfilling experience in my entire life other than being a dedicated mother to twins with Special Needs. I am also excited to report that Alex made Principal’s Roll for the third trimester in a row and his twin brother, Jay made Honor Roll two semester’s in a row. I am very proud of both of them!

Being a compassionate person is a gift that both of you should be very proud of. You cannot learn to be a compassionate person … you either are or you aren’t. Compassionate people are sensitive, kind, respectful, and good listeners. Compassionate people are also great leaders because they are open-minded at seeing all sides and not just their own. Compassionate people are also good at problem solving for that very reason.

Thank you again for making a difference in my autistic son’s life. It is people like you who give us hope for a brighter future for Alex!

If I were King!

If I were King ... I would buy a beautiful property in Fallbrook, CA because nothing beats San Diego weather and it is close to the ocean which our family loves.

The property would have lots of beautiful trees and enough space for an Organic Garden and bike paths like you see in Yosemite where you can ride bikes, roller-blade, take long walks, etc...

I would start by building a Community Development Center that had a Commercial Kitchen, Classrooms, a beautiful Library, Game Room/Arcade, and a huge Great Room & Dining Hall that Families could come together and have socials and special events ... just like the beautiful Lodge in Yosemite.

A separate Wellness Center that had a 25-meter Salt Water Swimming Pool, Epsom Salt Jacuzzi, Infra-red Sauna, H-BOT, Massage Area, Gym, Sensorsize Room, Racquetball Court, and a Meditation Garden.

An outdoor park like Sports area for Basketball, Soccer, Baseball, and Track & Field ... Country Club meets Special Olympics. BBQ areas with flower gardens and grassy knolls. An outdoor amphitheatre for Special Needs Performances and Fund Raisers.

I would then build a string of for-profit businesses that our kids loved doing and were good at and have them accessible from the outer highway or street.

And I would hire the best educated staff who were also compassionate and caring, offer the best quality education, include an impressive arts program, and plan very special vacation outings for families where they feel comfortable and they can relax and are at ease.

If I were King, I would create a world for special kids, their parents, and siblings and give them all the opportunities that everyone else has. A chance to have fun, learn, excel, and eventually own their own home in a neighborhood that loves and accepts them for who they are.

I would eliminate the day-to-day stress of parents running here for this therapy and running there for that therapy, eliminate all the chaos. I would offer quality on site Day Care & Respite so parents don't go broke and struggle and can't venture anywhere because they can't afford to.

And, whenever they needed help or needed to run an errand, they always knew that their kids were in good hands and were being productive and having fun interacting with others.

That is what I would do if I were King!

F.A.L.A. March 2009 Newsletter

Neighborly Love

I grew up in Whittier California in an upscale neighborhood known as Friendly Hills. My father was an Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist and Plastic Surgeon. Our next door neighbor also graduated from USC Medical School with my dad and was an OBGYN.

He and his wife gave birth to four boys in which the oldest and youngest were severely mentally challenged. Their second oldest son, Greg was mildly mentally challenged and their third son had no disabilities and graduated from USC and became one of the top CEO’s in the Country.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom and we were also a family of four children. All of the kids in the neighborhood would hang out at our home. There were roughly 26 homes on our connecting streets (Cielo Vista & Lodosa) and we were known as the “Lodosa Gang.”

My oldest brother, Ray was extremely mischievous and had at least eight boys his age that was part of the Lodosa Gang. My brothers and sisters were all two years apart and there were a total of 60 kids or so that lived in the neighborhood.

We were more than an active bunch, we were downright busy. We played sports constantly, had egg fights, papered houses, climbed trees, the normal stuff that kids did and more. We were constantly around each other. Greg always hung out at our house and became a part of our family. He went everywhere with us and was always welcomed with open arms.

Greg got a job at Presbyterian Hospital following school where our dads had practiced medicine for over 35-years until one day my dad contracted Staff Infection and unexpectedly died in 1996. Greg, from what I hear, has never missed a day of work nor has ever been tardy. He is also a very active member of his Church. His parents moved to Coronado Island and Huntington Beach and left the Whittier home for Greg but recently moved back.

My mom sold our Whittier home following the Quake in 1987 and moved to Newport Beach. Most of the other neighbors have sold their homes and have moved on. Greg and I still stay in contact and I visit him when I go to Whittier.

Greg called me a month or so ago and whenever we talk, it is apparent that he misses his neighbors and friends which made me think about the importance of transition for disabled adults.

Had Greg moved into his own home in a new neighborhood would that have made a difference? Would his new community embrace him like our family and neighbors did or would he still be lonely? Greg is in his 50’s now and yearns for neighbors that he once had and that to me is a very sad reality.

When I speak to parents and they state that they have plans of leaving their home to their disabled child, will they feel the same way that Greg does? Will the neighbors that they have gotten to know and who have all moved on be left with no one to socialize or visit with?

Is transition skill building like any maturing adult also important to a disabled adult’s future for the mere fact that it forces our kids to adjust to change so they can cope with the realities in life?

I have started to contact my family, our childhood neighbors, and friends and have shared Greg’s story and have asked that they try and make an effort to call or visit Greg when they are in the neighborhood. Everyone needs Neighborly love!

F.A.L.A. February 2009 Newsletter

My Very Personal Nine-Month Collaboration with Big Wave Project in Half Moon Bay

On July 24, 2007 I phoned Big Wave Project and spoke with Kimberly Brennan and after several conversations with Kimberly and Jeff Peck, Big Wave's President and Co-Founder, I emailed them my Proposal that I had designed on September 24, 2007; A Self-sustainable Organic Farmstead Model that gained National Recognition from the most prominent Autism Professionals and experts across the United States.

Jeff Peck promised me a position on his Advisory Board and to secure a spot for my 10-year-old autistic son in exchange for collaborating and sharing my ideas and vision with Big Wave Project.

I spoke to Jeff about "Going Green 100%" (when I met Jeff, he had no intention of going green) on every aspect of planning and how it would help with the Permit Process especially because he was near the Coast. I also sent him my Live, Work, Green Proposal that I had also designed from scratch in February 2008 which includes a Full-Recycle Center & Live/Work Green Lofts and Businesses.

I designed my son's, Alex's Day at Big Wave and a written Architectural Layout of the Wellness & Community Development Center per Jeff Peck's request in November of 2007:

Alex’s First Day of his Month at Big Wave by Kim Ashburn

It is Monday morning and Alex has been studying his new Monthly Schedule all weekend. Alex is an early riser and his alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. He heads to the shower and his music is set for 20-minutes. Alex washes his hair, cleans himself, and turns off the shower. He dries himself off, combs his hair, cleans his ears, and picks out his clothes based on the News Weather Forecast. He takes his vitamins, brushes his teeth, and gargles and heads out the door with his peers and his Life Skills Coaches at 6:45 a.m.

They walk to the Wellness Center and head towards the Cafe’s Commercial Kitchen. The Recipes for today’s Breakfast Brunch have been written on each of the chalk boards surrounding each workstation. They quickly move to their workstations and begin preparing today’s Breakfast Brunch; GF/CF French Toast, Apple Sausage, Fresh Fruit, Cold Cereal, Oatmeal, and Juice alongside their volunteers/mentors.

After completing setting up the Breakfast Buffet Bar, the group of six peers sits and eats their breakfast and discusses their next task with the help of their Life Skills Coaches. They each take out their punch cards that lists today’s activities.

Their Life Skills Coach punches their time cards for completing their morning task. It is now 9:00 a.m. and they are ready for some education. Alex’s peer group receives an hour of Computer Lab. They are learning the concepts of the computer and how to increase their speed typing. Alex does a great job by staying on task and his Life Skill’s Coaches punch his time card for completing his Computer Lab.

It is 10:00 a.m. and Alex’s peer group heads off to the Science Room. This month’s lesson is The Galaxy. Alex loves Science and cannot wait to get involved in an open-discussion with his peers and Science Teacher. Their Life Skills Coach punches their time cards for completing their tasks in Science.

It is 11:00 a.m. and lunch time and Alex and his peers head to the Cafe. They eat their lunch and head towards the Music Room at 12:00 p.m. for this month’s Choir Practice. They are preparing for an end of the month performance. They are excited to find out what song they will be performing.

A Mentor enters the room and it is someone very special in the Music Industry. The Mentor plays his songs to Alex and his friends so they can get a feel for what they will be performing. They pick their song and begin to practice. Their Life Skill’s Coach punches their time cards and they move onto Physical Education.

It is 1:00 p.m. and Alex’s group is aligned with other students. They spilt off into two teams. This month’s Special Olympics Featured Sport is “Soccer.” Alex is on the Blue Team and he likes to play Goalie. He is excited to play his favorite sport. After Alex completes Soccer at 2:30 p.m., Alex and his Team Mates head into the locker room and shower. Alex gets dressed and his Life Skills Coach punches his time card.

At 3:00 p.m. Alex helps run the Library. He loves to organize and help others. Alex and his peers work at the Library for two hours. It is 5:00 p.m. and Alex and his peers head to the Cafe for dinner. At 6:00 p.m. Alex’s Life Skill’s Coach punches his time card and hands him his tokens for the Arcade.

Alex thoroughly enjoys interacting with peers at the Arcade. The Arcade closes at 8:00 p.m. and Alex heads across the street with his peers and Life Skill’s Coaches and it is time for bed. Alex is excited to begin his next day at CDC!

Architectural Layout of Big Wave Wellness & Community Development Center

Basement next to Jeff Peck’s Movie Theatre: Snack Bar, Arcade: Dance, Dance Revolution, Dart Boards (Soft Tip), Pool Table, Ping Pong Table, Table Shuffle Board, Juke Box, Dance Floor, Two-Lane Bowling Alley, Pin Ball Machines, Electronic Game Area: Wii, Playstion, GameCube, etc...

First Floor: Gym with Weight Room, Tread Mill, Bikes, Racquetball Court, Indoor Salt Water Pool with retractable roof, Epsom Salt Jacuzzi, Infrared Sauna, Massage Room, Sensorcize Room; Yoga, Karate, Meditation, Jazzercise. Gymnasium with Stage; Full Basketball Court, Indoor Soccer, Power Walking, Adaptive Recreation, Gymnastics, etc... Gymnasium would be used for Performances, Socials, Family Events, Lectures, etc...

Centered: Cafe/Deli with Commercial Kitchen (Residents will create Daily Deli Specials), Organic Juice Bar, Organic Coffee Bar, and Bakery.

Store Fronts: Animal Grooming (all natural, no chemicals), Dog Walking & Training, Dry Cleaners (all natural, no chemicals), Book & Music Store, Library w/Computer Lab, Travel Agency, Postal Annex, Video & Game Rentals, Eco-Chic Boutique; Arts & Crafts, Gallery, Organic and 100% Natural Clothing, Towels, Stationary, etc...

Second Floor: Classrooms; Culinary Cooking Class w/Commercial Kitchen and work areas. (I sent a follow-up email to move this to the first floor adjoining to the Cafe/Deli because it would make more sense!). Science Room, Computer Lab & Graphics, Music Room/Choir, Fine Arts; Painting, Ceramics, Arts & Crafts (3), Acting/Performing Arts (they can use stage in Gymnasium), Dance/Ballet/Jazz/Tap, General Education (2), Banking, Billing & Receiving, Advertising & Marketing, Big Wave Executive Suites.

I also called Jeff Peck and spoke of the Eco-Friendly Solar Modular's and how the Germans just took first place again at Washington DC. I also phoned Jeff Peck about Live/Work Lofts and Studios that my husband had built and how in downtown Sacramento they rented for $2500.00 a month for a 900 sq. ft. Studio and that by renting more units at Big Wave Project could raise much more needed income to help its sustainability.

I highly question the statement that Jeff Peck made at the 6-8-08 Unveil of Big Wave where he stated, "After having a beer after work six to eight months ago with Steve Barber drove them to scrap their existing plans and start new and that their existing plans weren't good enough!"

Eight months prior on October 23, 2007, Jeff Peck was having lunch in my home in Sacramento while I shared my Proposal, my Model, and gave Jeff constant feedback over a nine-month period which I was more than willing to do in exchange of serving on the Advisory Board and being part of the Big Wave Team. And, to help secure a spot for my son's future.

It was brought to my attention at the 6-8-08 meeting, that Big Wave will be partnering with C-PALS to design and create an Organic Farmstead and Permanent Living with For Profit Businesses. Their Concepts according to the person who I spoke with are exactly like my Model that I shared with them and that I have personally designed and emailed to Jeff Peck and Kimberly Brennan in September 2007.

I asked Jeff Peck months ago that if I helped Big Wave and they liked my ideas and concepts, would Big Wave in return help me build my Model for my son and those like him?

When I questioned Jeff Peck as to why he did not invite me to one Advisory Board Meeting over a nine-month period (9/07 to 6/07/08) along with not listing my name on the 6-8-08 Slide Presentation along with all of the other Advisory Board Members, and never once introduced me to one person during the two hours that my family was there ...

He stated, "It was an oversight and he said to even suggest that they would need to or want to steal my ideas goes beyond ridiculous. He then went onto say that our family was not the right fit for Big Wave!"

Yet, it is very apparent to anyone who had ever read my proposals that every idea and concept that Big Wave Project has incorporated into their unique and one-of-a-kind "NEW PLANS" came from my two Proposals and my nine-month Collaboration which Jeff Peck and his Team deny to this day?